*juz another blank,lame post..*

sitting here in the computer lab pondering wat i shall do next..for the record,i screwed up my CB test 1 this morning and has been feeling all shitty since then.not that it happened today,i've had this feeling for weeks..have u guys ever had the feeling that all of the sudden,u lose ur appetite to eat;u feel that ur body's feeling so tired that u can juz even lay on the hot,burning tar roads and juz lay down to sleep instantenously;u feel that no matter wat u do,u stil cant force that smile off ur face even if the funniest thing happened rite in front of ur eyes..?

ppl has been telling me that i wasnt the same old person i was or the person i used to be the last time.they say i've changed,and frankly,i dun need ppl to tell me that..i know it myself.i felt i wasnt the old me,i wasnt the adrian that ppl used to know.i'm juz a totally new me like i wasnt myself anymore..is it a good sign or the other way round?

my mind hasnt been working well lately,crumbling under the intense pressure of the coll's summer course;my body has been lately pushed to the limits to where it can only sleep only several hours a day;my eyes has been swollen that it has been smaller than it used to be;my heart doing things not as dedicated as i used to be;my mouth and throat juz refuses to make as much noise/stupid remarks/silly jokes/debate as it used to do and my legs and knees juz refuses to carry me around..

life has been nothing but trouble for me lately.these troubles aint those that u can put it behind u,walk away and then pretend and live life like it never happened..these are things that no matter how hard i try,i cant seem to put it away,let alone walk over it.its juz too tough to even face it..a fren once told me,ignorance is bliss..shud i follow his advice or shud follow wat a wiseman once said,"by facing the problems that u encounter,ur taking another step towards becoming a more perfect person.."???

time's juz slipping away from me and it aint gonna come back.i'm just to mentally exhausted to even continue life rite now,dun say physically..i juz hope that watever remain of me will be good enuff to keep me alive,to survive the brutality of the problems that life is throwing to me rite now..

*I knew*

I knew your dreams

Because we used to talk

For hours at a time.

I knew your friendship

Because you were always there

When I needed your comfort.

I knew your pain

Because you trusted me enough

To share your past with me.

I knew your fears

Because you helped me

To see that mine were the same.

I knew what was important to you

Because you were always

So honest with me.

I knew your goals

Because I felt the enthusiasm

In your words when you talked of them.

I knew your guidance

Because you patiently explained

The things I didn't understand.

I knew your heart

Because I saw right into it

And felt it a part of my own.

I knew your honor

Because you let me go

When I fell in love with you.

And I knew your love

Because you wouldn't let me dream

of us being together...